The Underground Reporter has learned that President Obama's health care plan will be funded by selling a soy-based food source to developing countries! The secret ingredient to this delectable nosh? GRANDPA! The Obama administration's death squad addendum--a secret section in the deliberately long and boring health care legislation--was part of a conspiracy to destroy Medicare and Social Security.
"Well, it's not just that it's a cheap way of feeding undeveloped or developing countries while making a few bucks," says an unnamed source. "This is also payback for the 2000 presidential election."
Many sources speculate that this plot goes far beyond the Obama administration, saying it was part of the decades-long design which included Obama's ascent to the highest office in the land so that this monstrous yet tasty plan could be activated!
"Obama was genetically bred for the job in Kenya to avoid any authorities becoming aware of this plan," states a different source. "Plus we needed more time to round up more senior citizens to Florida so they would be easier to find."
SOYLENT GRAY IS GRANDPA!