Pat Robertson: Mover, Shaker...Antichrist?

With his torrent of verbal faux pas, scholars and average people around the globe are now asking the question that the Underground Reporter asked eight days ago: Is Pat Robertson the Antichrist?

"It makes sense," a scholar said. "He knows so much about Hell that he must be from there."

Upon learning that the connection between Pat Robertson and the Antichrist was being made, a statement was issued from Hell to dispel the allegations:

"Hell, no, he's not the Antichrist! The Antichrist is intelligent and well-spoken. We are deeply disturbed and offended by these claims. Please do your homework before making such wild accusations in the future."

The Antichrist has requested a public apology in lieu of filing defamation of character suits.